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When Jason was at the table,
I kept on seeing him look at me while he was with that other girl.
Do you think he was just doing that to make me jealous?

Because he was totally texting me all night last night,
and I don't know if it's a booty call or not.
So... like, what do you think?
Did you think that girl was pretty?

How did that girl even get in here?
Do you see her?
She's so short and that dress is so tacky. Who wears cheetah?

It's not even summer, why does the DJ keep on playing "Summertime Sadness?"
After we go to the bathroom, can we go smoke a cigarette? I really need one.
But first... let me take a selfie.


Let me take a selfie.



Can you guys help me pick a filter?
I don't know if I should go with XX Pro or Valencia.
I wanna look tan.
What should my caption be? I want it to be clever.

How about,
"Livin' with my bitches, hashtag LIV?"
I only got ten likes in the last five minutes,
do you think I should take it down?
Let me take another selfie.


Selfie, selfie, let me take a selfie.



Wait... pause.
Jason just liked my selfie, what a creep.
Is that guy sleeping over there?
Yeah, the one next to the girl with no shoes on?

That's so ratchet.
That girl is such a fake model. She definitely bought all her Instagram followers.
Who goes out on Mondays?

Okay, let's go take some shots.
Oh no, I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
Oh wait, nevermind, I'm fine.
Let's go dance.

There's no vodka at this table, do you know anyone else here?
Oh my God, Jason just texted me.
Should I go home with him?
I guess I took a good selfie,

selfie, selfie, selfie, selfie, selfie, selfie, selfie, selfie...
Let me take a selfie.


Let me take a selfie.


Let me take a selfie.

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