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Lyrics

I work down at the pizza pit
and I drive an old Hyundai.
I still live with my mom and dad.
I'm 5'3" and overweight.
I'm a Sci-Fi fanatic,
mild asthmatic,
never been to second base.
But there's a whole 'nother me
that you need to see.
Go check out MySpace.
'cause online I'm out in Hollywood.
I'm 6'5" and I look damn good.
I drive a Maserati.
I'm a black belt in karate,
and I love a good glass of wine.
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious,
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way,
chat with two women at one time.
I'm so much cooler online,
so much cooler online.
I get home, I kiss my mom,
and she fixes me a snack.
And I head down to my basement bedroom
and fire up my Mac.
In real life the only time I've
ever even been to L.A.
was when I got the chance with the marching band
to play tuba in the Rose Parade.
Online I live in Malibu,
I posed for Calvin Kline, I've been in GQ.
I'm single and I'm rich
and I got a set of six-pack abs that'll blow your mind!
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three-way,
chat with two women at one time.
I'm so much cooler online!
Yeah, I'm cooler online.
When you got my kinda stats, it's hard to get a date,
let alone a real girlfriend.
But I grow another foot
and I lose a bunch of weight
every time I log in.
Online I'm out in Hollywood.
I'm 6'5"
and I look damn good!
Even on a slow day, I can have a three-way,
chat with two women at one time!
I'm so much cooler online!
Yeah, I'm cooler online.
I'm so much cooler online...
Yeah, I'm cooler online.
Hey, I'm cooler online,
Yeah, you oughta see me online.
Hey, I'm cooler online.

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