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Poor Unfortunate Souls
The Little Mermaid (Disney)
I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.
They weren't kidding when they called me, well, a witch.
But you'll find that nowadays,
I've mended all my ways,
repented, seen the light, and made a switch.
And I fortunately know a little magic.
It's a talent that I always have possessed.
And here lately, please don't laugh,
I use it on behalf of the miserable, the lonely, and depressed.
Poor, unfortunate souls,
in pain, in need.
This one longing to be thinner,
that one wants to get the girl.
And do I help them?
Those poor, unfortunate souls,
so sad, so true.
They come flocking to my cauldron crying, "Spells, Ursula, please!"
And I help them.
Yes, I do.
Now, it's happened once or twice,
someone couldn't pay the price,
and I'm afraid I had to rake 'em 'cross the coals.
Yes, I've had the odd complaint,
but on the whole,
I've been a saint
to those poor, unfortunate souls!
You'll have your looks,
your pretty face.
And don't underestimate the importance of body language.
The men up there don't like a lot of blabber.
They think a girl who gossips is a bore!
Yes, on land, it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word.
And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?
Come on, they're not all that impressed with conversation.
True gentlemen avoid it when they can.
But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn.
It's she who holds her tongue who get's a man!
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul!
Make your choice!
I'm a very busy woman,
and I haven't got all day.
It won't cost much.
Just your voice!
You poor unfortunate soul!
It's sad, but true.
If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll.
Take a gulp and take a breath,
and go ahead and sign the scroll.
Flotsam, Jetsam, now I've got her, boys.
The boss is on a roll!
This poor unfortunate soul!